


Bathroom Shenanigans

by imperialMachine



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Cheating, College AU, Drunk Sex, F/M, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, college party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 02:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20369287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperialMachine/pseuds/imperialMachine
Summary: John got invited to a party and asked his crush as a date, but they never show up.  But now he's sad, and also a certain someone is also sad as well.





	Bathroom Shenanigans

For the first time, John has been invited to a Peixes’ party. It’s uncommon though, because not just anybody can be at a Peixes’ party. You’re either invited or you have to be one of the rich men and women around. Feferi Peixes was the more generous Peixes in the family, who invited everyone in the town. Because of how sweet and nice she was, her older sister, Meenah couldn’t say no to her. Thus, leaves John at the front steps of the Peixes household.

The place was already filling with people, and John hadn’t seen what’s inside the place yet. He can imagine what glories could be in there. But he cannot enter yet. John is waiting for his date. John had asked one of the junior college students out, Roxy Lalonde, who was Rose’s older sister. That was the first time he’s ever talked to her. The reason he had never spoken to her before was because he was afraid she would think he’s a fool. Luckily for John for having a best friend a bro could ever have, Dave was the one to encourage John to talk to her. For the timing of it all, John asked Roxy to go with him. She eventually said yes.

It’s been an hour now and everyone’s already inside of the house. John began to think if Roxy entered the house from another entrance and he didn’t see her? Maybe she missed her ride here. John thought about all the scenarios just to avoid the big question in his brain, did she ditch him?

Jades wobbles her way towards John, accidentally bumping into him. “Hey, watch it- oh.”

“Sorry, John.” Jade breathes on him. He could smell the gross stench of alcohol on her. 

“Eugh!” He swipes the air with his hand. “Jade, you were drinking?”

“Hahah, yeah” She puts on a goofy smile and an arm around John’s shoulder, putting all her weight on him. “Why- why are you out ‘ere?”

“I’m waiting for Roxy.” John said, casually. 

“Still?” Jade asks a little too loud. “Dude, is been like four hours?”

“Wha-no! It’s only been an hour. I’m sure she’ll show up.” He says, trying to sound hopeful.

Jade frowns, whimpering because she doesn’t want to be the barer of bad news. “John,” she says, softly. “I don’t think she’s coming.”

He doesn’t say anything because he was hoping he didn’t have to face this rejection. Or worse, having to go inside to have fun after being dumped, sort of. He feels Jade pat him on the back. 

“The night isn’t over yet!” She cheered. “You can still party. There’s a lot of boobs and stuff!”

John laughs, “boobs?” 

“Yeah! Let’s forget this shtick and go party! Whoop, whoop!” She cheered and guides John into the house. 

It was just as he expected, huge and fuschia themed, with different types of alcoholic beverages and so many people chatting, dancing, and making out in every part of the place. John sees Dave holding a beer bottle and flirting with some guy with an oversized gray sweater. He’s smiling, which is the number one Strider rule. He wonders what he could be talking about with that guy. 

When John turns around, he realizes that Jade left him to go over to Feferi Peixes. He watches as they giggle and hug, like they’re best friends. 

John comes across Jake, talking to a girl with short hair and white glasses. She looks kinda like Vriska. Jake notices him and waves, biding his lady friend a good bye. He comes over to John. “Hey, mate. How’s everything?” Jake asks, smile all big. He doesn’t look drunk but he has a red cup in his hand. 

“Okay, I guess.” John lied. “I was supposed to come with Roxy, but she didn’t show.” 

Jake’s smile quickly turns into a frown. “Aw, I’m sorry.” He says, patting him on the back. “Well, the night’s still young and there’s plenty of booze to make you less bummed out.” 

John considers Jake’s advice. Maybe he shouldn’t spend so much time feeling sad over getting rejected. This is the first Peixes party he’s been too and it would be a shame to waste a good opportunity. He didn’t know it might be his last party at this house. John puts a hand on Jake’s shoulder and nods. 

John makes a beeline to the liquor table. There’s so many types of swill to choke on, but which one will he decide to be his first. Beer? He heard from Dave that it actually taste like shit. Does he really want his first time be shit? No! There’s wine. Why would there be wine in a college party? This isn’t some maternal get together to talk about some books and unfaithful husbands. There’s vodka. Now that’s a college party drink. John takes the whole bottle and opens it. Without thinking, he downs the drink and nearly chokes when he realizes how strong it is. His head starts to feel funny, dizzy even. He didn’t even drink that much. 

Someone called John over to the dance floor and he followed the sound without caring who it is. His head is starting to hurt and he realizes it was Vriska who called him. The dance floor was dim and there were raving light all around the place, enough to cause a seizure. The music was so loud that it rang in John’s ears, sending vibrations throughout his body. They danced to the shitty loud music. 

For a moment, Vriska looked a bit funny to John. Her face was red. Was she drunk too, John thought. 

“John,” She says, but somehow John manages to hear her from the loud music. “I think I like you.” 

He couldn’t quite hear her. Did she confess to him? This made no sense to John because Vriska was dating Tavros. Did they break up again? So many things went on in John’s brain, mostly regarding the Vodka because he wanted more of it. 

“Well, aren’t you going to say something?” She’s blushing, rushing him but John can’t figure out what to say. The light are hurting his eyes. 

As he was about to say something, Vriska placed her hands on his shoulders and lean in to kiss him. Once John realizes that he was being kissed by Vriska, he pushed her away. This felt wrong because she was his friend and Tavros was his friend. He’s breaking the bro code! “I’m sorry, Vriska.” John hears himself say. 

Vriska doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t even look at him. She just leaves him and disappears into the crowd. Now, John’s alone in a crowd of people bumping dicks and ass. He feels bad. John guides himself out of the crowd and finds himself in another part of the house. The only way to make this better is to forget about it. He grabs the nearest bottle and chugs it down. He makes a sound of disgust. Reading the bottle, it says Champagne. Why does it taste like that? He dismisses this gross texture and sips it anyways. 

“Roxy!” He hears Meenah say from a distance. “Glad you could make it!” 

She really showed up! John began to feel excited, but he wishes he was in better condition to see her. As he was making his way to the front door of the house, he sees Roxy with a girl. He was about to call her when he was interrupted by her voice.

“Meenah, this is my date, Callie.” Roxy introduces Calliope, who’s wearing a yellow summer dress while Roxy wore a sweater and a skirt. 

John averts his gaze and goes deeper into the house. He was ditched for someone else. He felt stupid for even talking to her in the first place. He’s happy that she showed up, but it wasn’t with him.

Even from a distance the music is still in his ears. John goes up the stairs to avoid being around anyone, but he stops short when he sees a familiar redhead sitting on the floor with a 40 in her hand and her legs crossed one over the other. “Terezi?” He calls.

She doesn’t move an inch from her position, but instead she makes a ‘hmm’ sound. John goes over to sit next to her on the floor. He figured she wanted to get away from all that like he does. He leans his head back towards the dark wooden wall as he sets down the champagne bottle down next to him. He glances at Terezi without moving his head, trying to find a trace of...something on her, a lick of emotion, a wrinkle on her brow. Nothing. How is she so stoic while being wasted? Her cheeks are a bit pink as she wears the same expression of impassive behavior. 

John closes his eyes, feeling almost calm with her presence around. He opens his eyes again to see her resting her head on the wall behind them. He begins to wonder why she’s here by herself when Vriska’s out partying. They probably got into a fight or something. This doesn’t stop him from being curious. The curiosity begins to tempt him, as he asks, “So, what are you doing here away from the party? Can’t handle your alcohol?” He teases. 

“Sensory overload.” She says. “And I can totally handle my alcohol, but you need a little more practice.” Terezi attempted to say something that would tick John off, but he’s still glad she tried to get to him. 

“Oh, please! I’ve had harder stuff than beer and it seems like you’re enjoying that piss!” He giggles like a child. It wasn’t that funny but he can’t seem to contain his giddy.

The giddy behavior starts to rub off on Terezi as she cracks a smirk at him. “I’ll have you know John, I didn’t just drink piss when I got here.” She brags. “I was drinking cold Smirnoffs while you were standing outside like a creep.”

“Was there ice in it?” He asks, genuinely curious. 

“It came in a bucket of ice and I had ice with it.” She grins with her sharp teeth. 

“You’re a freak!” They both laugh like idiots in the hallway of the big mansion. The laughs soon die down, and John notices this soft look on Terezi’s face. She looks sad. “What happened with you and Gamzee?”

Terezi looks at him, raising an eyebrow. She was surprised he would ask her about him, and to be honest, so was John. Why did he ask her? “Uh,” Terezi utters, rubbing her arm.

Great. He made her uncomfortable. He’s not having the best luck with anyone as of late. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine.” She stops him from finishing his sentence. “It’s not going great. Thanks for asking.”

“Yeah, my night isn’t going great either.” He says, sipping the champagne and sticks his tongue out for the bad taste. He forgot he hates this swill. 

Terezi looks at him, tipping it to the side. She curious about him. “What happened with you?”

“Ah,” he rubs his head. “It’s kinda embarrassing.”

“It’s okay.” She reassures him. “I’ll make sure to tell everyone.”

John smiles and blows air out from his nose, chuckling at her comment. “Okay, I kinda got stood up by my date.”

“Wow, I’m sorry.” She says, meaning it. 

“It’s cool. Turns out, she was taking someone else.” He tells her, bringing his legs up to his chest. “I just feel like such a weenie about because she probably said yes because she felt bad and didn’t know how to reject me.”

“First off, you’re a total weenie, but not for this reason.” Terezi points a finger at John. “And second, she wouldn’t have said yes if she was just gonna ditch you.”

“You think so?” He says, pouting slightly.

“Don’t gimme that look! And yes.” She puts the bottle up to her lips and drinks the beer. “Eugh! I hate it.”

“Then why are you-” before John could finish his sentence, he realizes he was doing the same thing. “Actually, nevermind.”

They sit in silence for a while, sipping bad drinks and feeling bad for themselves, occasionally switching beverages. “I saw Gamzee with Tavros.” Terezi blurts out. 

“Well, yeah. They’re, like, best friends, or something.” John rests his head in his arms on his knees. 

“What they were doing seems like something best friends shouldn’t be doing, especially since they’re both taken by two other individuals.” Terezi explains, angrily drinking.

“W-what!” John puts the pieces together and he realizes that they were cheating with each other. “Tavros and Gamzee? No, wonder Vriska tried to throw herself on me.”

“She tried to throw herself on you?” Terezi repeated, laughing. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. She must’ve been drunk out of her mind!”

“What? Is there something wrong with me?” John defends himself from her insinuation.

“I could list a few things wrong with you.” Terezi jokes and then laughs at her own comment.

“I’m being serious!” He cried.

“You’re fine, but she barely mentions you. I just think she’s really hurt by this.” She explains.

John relaxes in his spot. That’s a good thing. Not that she’s hurt, but she doesn’t think he’s ugly. He feels like an asshole now because he rejected her while she needed someone. What about Terezi though? She was by herself upstairs, drinking away whatever she was feeling. And in a sense, so was John. “What about you?”

Terezi glances at him. “What about me?” She repeats.

“Are you… okay?” 

“Define okay.” Terezi says. “This was Vriska’s first time seeing them macking on each other. For me, this isn’t news.” 

John turns towards her, pressing his shoulder into the wall and tilting his head towards the wall. “Then why are you still with him?”

“Great question!” She puts on a fake smile with fake enthusiasm. When she sees John’s unimpressed expression, she’s back to her frown. “I wish I knew.”

John moved himself so that he’s laying on Terezi’s lap, looking up at her. She was about to say something but decided to leave him there. She puts a hand on his forehead. He looks at her blue-green eyes and her long eyelashes. He always thought she was pretty when she wasn’t talking smack to him every time. The light freckles spread out across her cheeks and nose, but one can only see it when they’re really close. And John is really close.

His gaze moves from her freckles to her light peach lips. With all the liquor in his system, he’s thinking about irrational thoughts. Thoughts like, what would it be like to kiss her right there. As quickly those thoughts came, they left with the same swiftness when she sits up and chuckles, sounding like gravel. 

John sits up too. “What?” He asks, with a grin on his lips because he wants to laugh too. 

“I had a dumb thought.” She admits. Was she thinking the same thing?

“So? Spill it!” John says, eager to hear what she was thinking. 

“It’s a secret.” She says in a whisper. 

“You don’t wanna share secrets with your good ol’ friend John?” He puts a hand on his chest, sounding dignified. 

“Pssh! It wouldn’t be a secret if I told someone.” She tells him, taking a sip from her bottle. She brings it down and looks at it. “Huh. I’m outta drink.”

“We could get some more if you want.”John gets up from the ground and held out a hand for her. His vision felt hazy when he waited for her to grab his hand. 

Terezi takes his hand as John pulls her from the floor. She ends up tripping on her feet and they fall on the floor. John hit his head on the floor, having a bigger headache than before. He looks down and sees Terezi laying on his chest. She pushes herself up with her elbows, and comes face to face with the Egbert. They break out laughing when they realized how cliche this was. This would get so many clicks in romcoms. 

John was the first to stop his chortle. “Could you tell me your secret now?” He asks.

Terezi answers by pressing her lips on his. John wrapped his arms around her waist while Terezi snakes her arms around the back of his neck, cushioning his head from the ground. She chuckles into John’s mouth as he breathes in her. They begin to feel hot as they continue. He licks her lips, feeling the curves of her sides. She bites his bottom lip as he breathes heavily into kisses. 

“Terezi..” He pants in her mouth.

“Mmm.” She hums into the kiss as John kisses her back, feeling a certain hardness in his pants. 

“We should go somewhere private.” He says, between smooches. 

Terezi pushes herself up from him, with her legs on either side of his body. “I think here is fine, if you’re really quiet.” She leans down and bites on his ear, sending shivers throughout his body.

Moments later, John pulls on the door handle to the nearest room upstairs. It just happens to be a bathroom. Terezi rips open his button up shirt, sending the buttons flying off somewhere. John didn’t know she was this strong.Terezi pulls off her bra and tosses it in the bathtub. He captures her mouth onto his while he pulls up her shirt. John brings her to the sink counter as she’s undoing the button on his pants. He also unbuttons her pants while she pushed him onto the wall behind him. She’s so aggressive! This was a turn on for him. 

Once they got their pants off, John lifted Terezi against the wall and entered her. She makes a squeek, to which John found cute. John bites her neck as he thrusts into her, head hazy, and his glasses are on the floor but he doesn’t care. He continued to thrust his hips into her, feeling her warmth and her wetness. The only thing he could hear was the music, the chatter, and Terezi’s sweet sounds in his ear. John had to distance himself from her just to take in his image of her hair all messed up and her face red. Their skin was flushed against each other.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “Hey, can you hurry up? I need to take a piss.”

Shit, that’s Dave, John thought. Terezi covered her mouth while John kept moving his dick slowly into her. “Kinda, busy, buddy.” John says in a deep voice, so Dave doesn’t recognize who it is. 

Terezi snickered in her mouth. John put finger over his mouth with a grin on his lips with Terezi’s legs wrapped around John’s waist. “Cmon man! I really needa go.”

“Sorry, guy.” John apologizes. “I’m taking a big one.”

She giggles and John is trying to shoosh her while silently giggling too. He kisses her and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He bites her as he digs his hands into her hips, increasing his speed. They both begin to breathe heavily as they climaxed. 

The next day John wakes up on the floor of a bathroom. He realizes he’s not wearing any pants and his head is spinning. How much did I drink, he thinks. He rubs on his temples and glances at the person next to him. John thinks back to what occurred last night. He was stood up and then he drank. He saw Terezi, then they were talking… The body next to him moved. Red hair. There was only one person who had red hair. Terezi sits up, with her eyes closed. Once she opens them, she squints at John. The only thing John did was smile awkwardly at her. Terezi’s eyes widen when she realizes what happened. As she was about to scream, John covered her mouth. 

“Shhh!” He hushed her.

Terezi smacked his hand away. “John, what the fuck?”

“I’m just as shocked as you are.” He says, looking for his glasses. Once he finds them under the cabinet, he wipes off the debris and slides them on his face. 

Terezi gets up from the floor and looks at herself in the mirror. Her neck is covered in hickeys and bite marks. John got up too and took a look at himself. He’s also covered in love marks. They blushed when they thought about what happened last night. Terezi’s in her bra and panties, while John was in his boxers. They gathered their clothes and put them on. 

“Uh, Terezi?” John calls with his shirt on and unbuttoned. “What happened to my shirt?”

“What?” She blushed. “They were in the way.”

As Terezi was about to open the door, John grabbed her wrist. “Wait,” He stops her. “What if this is the only time I’m with you like this?” What is he saying? John can’t believe what he’s saying either. This was supposed to be just a one time fling, but for John it was something more. He just lost his virginity to a chick to hates him and finds every chance to piss him off, yet he feels this was a significant moment for the both of them. Like this was supposed to be a sign or something. Like a total sap, he believes this was supposed to mean something. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me just because we had sex?” Terezi smirks, teasing him. But she feels it too.

“What- no! I-” Before he could answer, Terezi pecks him on the lips. He pouts when she pulls away from him. He goes up to her and kisses her again. He doesn’t want to leave this bathroom because leaving meant that they’ll go back to being frienemies. 

When he pulls away, she looks so vulnerable and small. “When we get out, wait a couple minutes.”

He nods. She opens the door and walks out. After a long minute, or maybe it was 10 minutes, John zoned out thinking what would make out of their relationship, if they even have one. Terezi’s still in a relationship with Gamzee. John actually felt jealous for once, that the clown guy gets to call Terezi his. She wasn’t even happy being with him. John rubs his forehead. He wonders why he’s feeling this way towards her, but more importantly, why he’s sad over this. He’ll still be friends with Terezi, but it wouldn’t be the same. He’ll have to pretend that he doesn’t have her on his mind or that he might be falling for her. 

John grabbed the door handle and leaves the bathroom.


End file.
